i am not a conservative. i am a liberal. but i am not a good liberal. i am a bad liberal. a very bad liberal.

have you ever had the experience of some conservative, someone you just met and did not know was a conservative, or know well at all, start venting their bile against some liberal politician or policy? someone you are barely acquainted with? just out of the blue!: "goddamned gays! why can't they just settle down?" "damned clinton! he's a commy and a thief" "they will never get my guns, goddamned liberals!" or they will praise some snake-like cult being of their own ilk: "that ann coulter sure is a fine thinker! god-fearing too!"

even in the darkest end days of bush, at the nadir of conservative popularity, i never have had this social experience with a stranger who was liberal. i have never, ever had this social experience with a liberal at any time in my 50 years of recollection. liberals, we do not interact that way. a liberal will not presumptively inflict his/her fucked up crap on you. they (we) have to form a cell first. we feel you out subtly. we are not as socially retarded as the other side. liberalism is a city export, where people live cheek by jowl and learn to get along.

why do conservatives bulldoze their crap over you like this? are they stupid, evil, or just socially inept? triple crown to bill o'reilly! they are being bullies. they are seeking social proof and robbing you of yours, if they can. that is their point. it is called a "movement" and that is the nuts and bolt of its operation. the social lever that moves the weakest and lightest minds easily.

church people will do this kind of thing too. "well hey mick, what church do you go to? do you sing and get the holy spirit?" and because i am a bad liberal, i say, "your church blows satan's goats! my church rocks hard bitch!" no, i just sigh. why do strangers want up in my most personal biz? why they want up inside my head? why only conservatives?

seriously: have you ever had someone test you with the n word? no, not nationalization, the other, bad one. if you work blue collar, certainly you have. you are being tested, no doubt about it. what do you do? how about this test: "let me tell you about the jews: [blah blah blah hate on jews]...". that has happened to me too. i guess i don't look jewish. my girlfriend does, though. probably from hanging around that synagogue she goes to. maybe she gets her hair done with those synagogue ladies and then she has the jewish look. i will speak to her about that: "so what church do you go to, honey? will i need a foreskin down there or not?"

here's a fun thing if you get the chance to do it: someone praises ann coulter. you say, "ann coulter? that liberal tv personality?" aghast reply: "no, she's a conservative! very conservative! she hates liberals!" they will be so pleased to have had the chance to correct you! and you say, narrow eyed, seriously, while thumping your chest: "no, buddy, that woman, she's pretty g.d. liberal in my book." there will be a pause. you will see confusion, fear, and then respect (!) pass over their face. they may be thinking, "i have been lax in my conservatism! i must keep up with this fellow! can i?" now they are vulnerable. so you can say, "bleeding heart coulter! new york lawyer!"

that happened to me. i think we left it at that. these people are easily led, and misled, you see? i think i could have had this ass-wipe in my survivalist cult out in the woods with a few more interactions. i should have asked him for some money to donate to Guns for Children or Hate On the Gay. i could use the $ for my foreskin reclamation project. i could have had gay sex with him out by the campfire. i could have put some LSD in his canteen. that would cure him! way cool! just trying to help.

of course it's a joke. i'm kidding. yeah, take his side why doncha. 

workplace politics

i am on fire...i have become shiva, the destroyer, many headed, many armed, darkly gloating and thirsty for vengeance. my enemies are like stinking insect mush caught in the tread of my boot. their mush offends me and so my golden lightening strikes their gooey remains and they become ashes in the wind, no good even for fertilizer. all of their cycles are truely ended now, and for eternity. there is only blackness and the musical value of their keening and wailing. i burn their loved ones at the stake and force them to watch. and i eat their lunch, too. yummy.

shiva doesn't even know what a corner is. shiva asks: "if there really was a corner why would you allow it to share your dimension?" shiva has no need of the smooth round things. shiva has demolished the kabuki theatre. it is only a legend now. the old people talk about it, but they are so lost too...

enjoy your vengeance. it is nourishing to the soul sometimes to say "i told you so." and "it was me all along" these are sweet words. who is king? who is shiva? who is your daddy now, bitches? i use your backs for ladders, pukes.

workers in the soviet union used to say: "we pretend to work and they pretend to pay us".

in the west, we pretend to work and they really do pay us. but they have to borrow the money. the more they borrow, the less it is worth. the chinese and the saudis want their interest paid on time, you see.

i saw my co-worker cutting some new corners off his work today. very clever. now i have to cut these corners to keep up with him. soon the whole village will be cutting corners and we will only have round things. who will buy my smooth round kabuki show?

the boss pretends the corners don't matter. his boss is aware of missing corners, but does not entirely understand them. he has glimpsed these newly smooth things, but is not sure what the corners were for. he is ashamed to admit he does not understand these newly smooth pebbles. how does it effect his bonus? is smooth better than sharp? 

Eureka! it was a safety issue all along! the village is saved! this is called "Reaganomics". 

you can have it right, or you can have it right now. that is how it usually works. but they want both. common sense should tell them it is not possible. engineers say: faster, stronger, or cheaper, just pick two. three requires a breakthrough that comes once in a generation.

we are in a mutually assured destruction pact with our boss. he could fire us, but then we will reveal to his masters how much pencil whipping we do around here. we have created a Potemkin Village of commercial activity. if he expels us from the village, we will burn it down. I'm fine with that. 

i am old. but it is only recently that i learned that competence counts for little. backstabbing is the true path of success. remember to keep smiling.